Newsletter 5-7-13
Posted by Douglas George
on May 07, 2013
NEEDHAM ROTARY CLUB
Minutes of Meeting May 7, 2013
Needham Sheraton Hotel
The Pledge of Allegiance was led by our President, Charles. Ron led us in “God Bless America”.
Karen provided the Invocation.
GUESTS: Ron Balfour guest speaker, from the Shrewsbury Rotary who spoke on the Rotary Foundation, and, Brandon Zeikus who is an intern at Condon Realty and a senior at Dover-Sherborn High School.
Doug led us in the welcome song. (Should have been God Help his voice!).
ANNOUNCEMENTS: Rich gave us an update on the Reality Fair (Monday 5/20/13) and asked for help. We need three more volunteers.
- Glen updated us on the Pancake breakfast (5/11) and passed out work assignments for the event.
-Louise mentioned the upcoming (5/18) musician, Damilo Perez, at the Great Hall and the breakfast at Wingate tomorrow (5/8) with Bruce Johnston.
-Reminder that District conference is this coming Friday Saturday and Sunday.
-Jim Brown is driving to the Paul Harris Luncheon of Friday: Need a ride, give him a call.
BIRTHDAY WISHES: for Ted, Eric and Ron ( I guess the rest of us aren’t getting any older)
50/50: is now up to all of $13.00. We have a new deck of cards and the new winning card is the Ace of Diamonds!
HAPPY DOLLARS: For the Pancake Breakfast, Deb’s second job, Lois for Town Meeting, Scott for becoming a future Grandfather, Doug for his voice coach, Erica for Greek Easter, Eric for Spring Weather and Graduations, Karen for a glorious weekend at Newport, and Charles for Ron coming to speak!
HUMOR: There were 2 jokes of the day, provided by our resident humorist Doug George:
A man wakes up one morning with the filthiest hangover and no recollection of the night before. Slowly opening his eyes, he sees a bottle of aspirin and a glass of water on the bedside table.
He looks around the room to find his clothes are on the dresser, neatly folded, with a clean shirt on top. The bedroom is immaculate. On the bedside table is a note, which says, 'Darling, your breakfast is in the kitchen. I love you.'
Downstairs, he finds his favourite cereal, croissants, fresh OJ and freshly brewed coffee laid out waiting for him, along with the morning paper - and his 15-year-old son, who is finishing his own breakfast.
'Tell me, son,' he asks, 'what happened last night?'
'Well, says the boy, 'you came home so blind drunk you didn't even know your own name. You nearly broke the door down, then you were sick in the hallway, then you knocked the furniture over and when Mum tried to calm you down, you thought she was the police, so you gave her a black eye.'
'Christ!' says the man. 'Then how come my clothes are all folded, the house is tidy and my breakfast is ready?'
'When Mum dragged you into the bedroom and tried to get your trousers off to put you into bed, you shouted at her, 'Get your filthy hands off me, you whore, I'm married!
A man's been drinking at a pub all night.
When he stands up to leave, he falls flat on his face.
He tries to stand one more time, but to no avail.
He figures he'll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up. Once outside, he stands up and, sure enough, he falls flat on his face.
Finally he decides to crawl the four blocks to his home.
When he arrives at the door, he stands up and falls flat on his face.
He crawls through the door into his bedroom. When he reaches his bed, he tries one more time to stand up.
This time, he manages to pull himself upright but he quickly falls right into bed.
The next morning he awakens to see his wife standing over him, shouting: "So, you've been out drinking again!"
"Why do you say that?" he asks.
"The pub called. You left your wheelchair there again."
GUEST SPEAKER: Ron Balfour, District Foundation Chair, gave us an update on Needham Rotary and the Rotary Foundation. Our club has a high percentage of members who are Paul Harris Fellows. All the money collected goes to the good works of the Rotary Foundation, including:
-Eradication of Polio around the world (Polio Plus Program)
-Funding the Rotary Scholars who do a year abroad in a graduate program. Many students come to the Boston area from around the world.
-Fund the matching grant program of the RF. Needham recently was able to fund a major donation to the Tippett Hospice Home in Needham, by multiplying donations through the matching grant program.
The Rotary Foundation is now changing the way they select and fund grant requests from clubs around the world. Now grants are made in the following categories: District, Global and Packaged. For more details, see http://www.rotary.org/en/grants.
Needham Rotary has been a big supporter of the Rotary Foundation for many years. Each year, every member supports the Foundation with a $50 gift, and the club matches it with another $50. Thus, a $100 gift per member is made each year! Great works deserve great support!
Minutes of Meeting May 7, 2013
Needham Sheraton Hotel
The Pledge of Allegiance was led by our President, Charles. Ron led us in “God Bless America”.
Karen provided the Invocation.
GUESTS: Ron Balfour guest speaker, from the Shrewsbury Rotary who spoke on the Rotary Foundation, and, Brandon Zeikus who is an intern at Condon Realty and a senior at Dover-Sherborn High School.
Doug led us in the welcome song. (Should have been God Help his voice!).
ANNOUNCEMENTS: Rich gave us an update on the Reality Fair (Monday 5/20/13) and asked for help. We need three more volunteers.
- Glen updated us on the Pancake breakfast (5/11) and passed out work assignments for the event.
-Louise mentioned the upcoming (5/18) musician, Damilo Perez, at the Great Hall and the breakfast at Wingate tomorrow (5/8) with Bruce Johnston.
-Reminder that District conference is this coming Friday Saturday and Sunday.
-Jim Brown is driving to the Paul Harris Luncheon of Friday: Need a ride, give him a call.
BIRTHDAY WISHES: for Ted, Eric and Ron ( I guess the rest of us aren’t getting any older)
50/50: is now up to all of $13.00. We have a new deck of cards and the new winning card is the Ace of Diamonds!
HAPPY DOLLARS: For the Pancake Breakfast, Deb’s second job, Lois for Town Meeting, Scott for becoming a future Grandfather, Doug for his voice coach, Erica for Greek Easter, Eric for Spring Weather and Graduations, Karen for a glorious weekend at Newport, and Charles for Ron coming to speak!
HUMOR: There were 2 jokes of the day, provided by our resident humorist Doug George:
A man wakes up one morning with the filthiest hangover and no recollection of the night before. Slowly opening his eyes, he sees a bottle of aspirin and a glass of water on the bedside table.
He looks around the room to find his clothes are on the dresser, neatly folded, with a clean shirt on top. The bedroom is immaculate. On the bedside table is a note, which says, 'Darling, your breakfast is in the kitchen. I love you.'
Downstairs, he finds his favourite cereal, croissants, fresh OJ and freshly brewed coffee laid out waiting for him, along with the morning paper - and his 15-year-old son, who is finishing his own breakfast.
'Tell me, son,' he asks, 'what happened last night?'
'Well, says the boy, 'you came home so blind drunk you didn't even know your own name. You nearly broke the door down, then you were sick in the hallway, then you knocked the furniture over and when Mum tried to calm you down, you thought she was the police, so you gave her a black eye.'
'Christ!' says the man. 'Then how come my clothes are all folded, the house is tidy and my breakfast is ready?'
'When Mum dragged you into the bedroom and tried to get your trousers off to put you into bed, you shouted at her, 'Get your filthy hands off me, you whore, I'm married!
A man's been drinking at a pub all night.
When he stands up to leave, he falls flat on his face.
He tries to stand one more time, but to no avail.
He figures he'll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up. Once outside, he stands up and, sure enough, he falls flat on his face.
Finally he decides to crawl the four blocks to his home.
When he arrives at the door, he stands up and falls flat on his face.
He crawls through the door into his bedroom. When he reaches his bed, he tries one more time to stand up.
This time, he manages to pull himself upright but he quickly falls right into bed.
The next morning he awakens to see his wife standing over him, shouting: "So, you've been out drinking again!"
"Why do you say that?" he asks.
"The pub called. You left your wheelchair there again."
GUEST SPEAKER: Ron Balfour, District Foundation Chair, gave us an update on Needham Rotary and the Rotary Foundation. Our club has a high percentage of members who are Paul Harris Fellows. All the money collected goes to the good works of the Rotary Foundation, including:
-Eradication of Polio around the world (Polio Plus Program)
-Funding the Rotary Scholars who do a year abroad in a graduate program. Many students come to the Boston area from around the world.
-Fund the matching grant program of the RF. Needham recently was able to fund a major donation to the Tippett Hospice Home in Needham, by multiplying donations through the matching grant program.
The Rotary Foundation is now changing the way they select and fund grant requests from clubs around the world. Now grants are made in the following categories: District, Global and Packaged. For more details, see http://www.rotary.org/en/grants.
Needham Rotary has been a big supporter of the Rotary Foundation for many years. Each year, every member supports the Foundation with a $50 gift, and the club matches it with another $50. Thus, a $100 gift per member is made each year! Great works deserve great support!